The Tomlin Family

Paul Tomlin, a truck driver for a recycling company, noticed the change in his four youngest children after they legalized their adoption on National Adoption Day 2004. Justin, 13, had more bounce in his step, 11-year-old Adriana’s smile shined brighter and Maryann, 8, was on her best behavior. Jamal, 9, was chosen as student of the month that November, and Maryann followed suit the next month.

The Tomlins had thought about adopting for a while and were regular viewers of Wednesday’s Child. They knew they had a lot to give and wanted to parent siblings, as they felt these children had been through enough without having to live apart. Somehow, the timing never worked out.

Their lives changed two-and-a half years ago when they saw the Jordan’s WB56 adoption special, A Family to Call My Own. As empty nesters in their 50’s, they called MARE to inquire. They were referred to a DSS social worker who thought they would be a good match for four siblings hoping to be reunited. The Tomlins were in the process of going through MAPP training and the homestudy process.

It was love at first sight when Carol and Paul saw a copy of the children’s Wednesday’s Child appearance. The Tomlins welcomed the siblings into their new home in April 2003. Paul built a tree house in the backyard, and the newly installed pool beckoned them.

Carol, a pediatric homecare nurse, says the children have responded to the structure, love and guidance they have received and have been resilient in the face of their adversity. She states, “As much as you give them, you get back — and then some.” The two youngest, Jamal and Maryann, embraced them as “mom” and “dad” right away, and within weeks and more quickly than Carol and Paul had expected, so did Adriana and Justin.

Their first year together, staying on top of the children’s homework was the Tomlin’s biggest struggle. Carol does not demand perfect grades, but she insists that they always try. Their academics were affected by the lack of consistency in their lives, as well as their learning and attention difficulties.

In the 2004-2005 school year, Adriana became the star they knew she could be and made the honor roll. Carol thinks Adriana even surprised herself with her achievement. Adriana mentioned to Carol how she had prayed for a mother that would challenge her, but not quite this much.

Carol and Paul reassure their children that they waited 20 years for them and they are here to stay. The Tomlins credit their community and church for supporting them through the challenges they have faced as a family. It’s now really beginning to sink in for the children. Carol says Justin, always reliable and helpful with his younger siblings, is beginning to relax in his role as protector and is opening up more.

Carol and Paul are especially touched by their children’s compassion for others. It’s come out in their readiness to lend a hand with a program for the homeless at church or share their parents’ love and accept more children into the family. When the timing is right, Carol and Paul would gladly open their hearts and home to another child or sibling group.